Computer humour

Humour, Author unknown

• Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
• COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
• Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
• Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
• Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
• My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
• C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
• The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
• BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
• Access denied - nah nah na nah nah!
• C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
• As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
• E Pluribus Modem
• ...File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
• Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
• A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
• An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
• A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
• 11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
• Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
• Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
• Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
• RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.
• All computers wait at the same speed.
• DEFINITION: Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.
• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
• ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
• E-mail returned to sende - insufficient voltage.
• Help! I'm modeming...and I can't hang up!!!
• All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
• Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
• "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
• Press any key...no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
• Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
• Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_|"
• Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
• Read my chips: No new upgrades!
• Hit any user to continue.
• 2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
• I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
• Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
• Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
• Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
• Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
• (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
• (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
• If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
• Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
• Programmer: A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
• Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
• XMODEM: A spot-marking transfer protocol.
• YTERM: A terminal program for queries.
• SQWERTY: Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.
• SYSTEM GOING DOWN AT 4:45 THIS AFTERNOON FOR DISK CRASHING.
• The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
• Documentation is like sex: When it's good, it's fantastic, when it's bad...
• Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on the computer.
• BATCH: A group, kinda like a herd.
• Computer hackers do it all night long.
• Computer modelers simulate it first.
• Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
• Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
• Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
• The name is Baud......, James Baud.
• Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
• COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
• C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
• C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
• Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
• BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
• BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
• C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
• Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
• CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
• SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
• Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
• Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue...
• DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
• Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
• REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)

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